WTF??!!


Apparently I left my wallet in the cab I took home last night (no, I wasn’t drunk, just tired and it was after 7 so the buses weren’t running directly to my house any more)

I didn’t notice because once I got home I didn’t actually need my wallet

Got multiple calls from 604.681.1111 between 2:45 and 3:15 this morning – no voicemail left

Called the number when I actually got up and it was Yellow Cab, but they had no idea why someone from there had called me

Realised my wallet was missing when I went to pay for the bus this morning

The penny dropped

Called Yellow Cab and yes, they had found my wallet – no explanation for the multiple 3 a.m. calls, though

Sent them a notarised letter authorising them to release my wallet to a courier I was sending over

Waiting for it now

What are the chances that the 5 $20 bills that I put in there just before getting into the cab last night are still there?? will let you know

*EDIT* MONEY ALL THERE!!  HELL MUST HAVE FROZEN OVER, MY FAITH IN MANKIND RESTORED (FOR THE MOMENT)

In other news, the house that I live in, and have lived in for 7 years, is on the market, which sucks for many reasons.  Not least of which is OPEN HOUSES!!! 2 this past weekend,  another the weekend before and one this coming weekend.  This sucks because I have to be out of the house for 3 hours each of those days WITH THE DOGS.  Which would be fine if I had a car and could just go somewhere, but I don’t so it’s not exactly convenient.  But I do it and it’s not the end of the world and I am fond of my landlords so will accommodate them.

HOWEVER

Last week the agent showed the house on a Wednesday, a day that my dogs are not walked so are at home.  The agent was told NOT to show my suite, which is at the back of the house.  But of course he showed it and of course he then left the doors to my bedroom and bathroom OPEN thus allowing Scout full access.  Goodbye to a purse and thank GOD she didn’t get to the EXTRA-STRENGTH GRAVOL that was in the purse because then?  SHE WOULD BE DEAD!

Which brings us to yesterday – my landlords told me that the house was being shown but not the suite.  I told them that the dogs would be out of the suite in the afternoon on a walk so if they wanted to show it that would be fine.  The did not tell that to the agent and assumed that it would NOT be shown,  Um, no.  It was shown and the doors left open AGAIN – bye bye to another pair of shoes!

Scout is an anxious chewer which is why I keep all doors closed when I am not home – temptation is out of the way.  If I happen to leave something out, that’s my fault.  This is not my fault.

Am I wrong to expect to have the purse and shoes replaced?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I spent most of this weekend sad.  On my way home from work Friday evening the fact that my mother was gone and not coming back really hit me.  And so I cried.  And I cried, and I cried and then I cried some more.  I don’t know why THIS weekend was special, maybe because the weather had turned and it was WET and gross out?  who knows.  All I do know is that I was very, very sad all weekend and I cried a lot.

Over the last year I have lost touch with a few people;  some intentionally, some not.  One person in particular, a friend of over 20 years, was particularly callous in her dealings with me – when mum was officially diagnosed and her surgery scheduled I was slated to host a baby shower for a dear friend.  When I got the news about mum my first instinct was of course to drop everything and fly across the country to be with her.  I called my (very) pregnant girlfriend, explained the situation and asked her if she wanted the shower to go ahead without me, which it totally could, or if she wanted to wait for me to get back, potentially post-baby, and then do it.  She left it to me, totally understanding that what I had to do was a wee bit more important than making party sandwiches for a bunch of women.  So I called our other friend, at whose aunt’s house the shower was being held (neither of us have a house large enough and her aunt had graciously offered the use of her garden).  She too left it to me and I told them that I would let them know my decision after I spoke with my parents.

In the interim I was copied on an email by the third friend involved, my friend of over 20 years, in which she basically said well since Kathryn is bailing on her responsibilities I guess we had better take over and make sure this shower happens.

Um, excuse me?  I was not “bailing”.  Also?  She never called me to see if a. my mum was ok and b. if I was ok.  She just took it upon herself to cast me in a bad light and basically be a bitch.

I wound up NOT going home that weekend and went ahead with the planning and hosting of the shower, which included doing (and paying for) all of the shopping, cooking and preparing the house and garden for 30 women.  And I did it gladly because the mum to be is a dear friend.

(and not that we do these things for the kudos, but to add insult to injury, the other 2 girls involved got all the thank you’s from the guests – not me)

Still not one word of concern from my so-called-friend.

She finally got around to calling me about a week later, asking how my mum was doing.  When I told her the diagnosis, which at that stage was that she had bladder cancer and her bladder had to be removed, her response was “well at least it’s not as bad as what my sister has”.  I feel the need to fully explain this statement – her “sister” is a 50 something year old woman who was the put up for adoption at birth daughter of her step-father and his first wife.  She met her “sister” 3 years ago. And regardless, who cares whose is worse? My mother was diagnosed with serious cancer, was having an organ removed and I was scared.

Stunned by her response, I cut the conversation short.

A week or two later we were supposed to meet for cocktails after work – I was flying out to Montreal in a few days to be with my family during mum’s surgery and for Thanksgiving.  When I called to confirm time, location, ect (on my way to meet her) she was laughing and joking with some people and said that she was with people from work and that I should join them.  Um, no. I was in no mood to be with people I didn’t know.  So I told her that, That I was not up to being in a group with people I didn’t know and that my preference was to go just the two of us for a quiet drink and chat.  She told me that I really had to stop being so self-centred.

So I went home, seething.  I called her at home later but she wasn’t there so I left a message.  I probably should not have but I was hurt and angry.  I told her that I felt she was being very unsupportive and that her whole attitude towards me and what I was going through with my mum was very hurtful.

I should probably also explain here that she and my mum were close, that my mum had taken care of my friend on many occasions when her own family would or could not.

Anyway, my trip to Montreal came and went.  It was stressful and emotional and just the beginning it turned out of a terrible roller-coaster that we would all ride for the next 10 months.

My friend called me once after I got back but I really didn’t have the energy to call her back.

In February we got the news that the cancer was back and that mum would have to go through chemo.  As we know now that was the beginning of the end and I was back and forth between Montreal and Vancouver quite a bit over the next few months, trying to keep things at work and at home afloat and trying to remain positive for all those around me.

We have a few mutual friends so my friend new what was going on.  She called once, leaving a message.  I returned the call, giving her an update. That was the last time we had any form of contact.  As a result of this “rift” I have lost contact with not a small circle of people I used to be quite social with.  Not such a great loss as I see it now. But it still bugs me.

Never has she sent any kind of sign or acknowledgement that my mum died. Not a note, not an email, not a text message, NOTHING.  Not a word.  Quite telling about her character, I think.

All of that back-story melodrama to say this:  on Saturday afternoon I managed to get the energy together and dragged myself in the pouring rain down to Park Royal  to run some errands.  And who walked out of the Home Depot right in front of me but her. She was with one of another of my once-friends.  I felt physically sick to my stomach and darted into the next store. They were in front of me, it was pouring rain and I was wearing a hood so they did not see me, but still.  The last thing I was up for was an awkward encounter and I truly did not have the energy to smile and pretend to be glad to see them.

Fuck them.

That near-encounter brought up so many unresolved feelings and emotions and down-right anger that I have been keeping under wraps all this time.

Fuck them.

I have lost so much this year, it’s just not fair.

And?

Fuck them and the brooms they rode in on.

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions – personally I think they are stupid and do not stick.  However, this year I made a promise to myself to try things that scare me and that get me out of my comfort-zone.

Going on national television in my undies counts I think, right?

Last week I told you how I got a call from Anna & Kristina’s Beauty Call and that I had been selected to appear on this new make-over show.  Well the first part, the SCARY part, was filmed on Tuesday – and while scary, it was not terrible.

I arrived on set not really sure what to expect other than the fact that at some point I would be in front of a camera in not a lot of clothes.  The “studio” is in an old office building bordering on Yaletown and has been staged to look like a girls’ dressing room on one side, complete with vanity full of make-up and accessories and a fashion designer’s studio on the other – drafting tables, bulletin boards with sketches, magazine cut-outs, etc.  BTW, LOVED the two arm chairs in the dressing room side – think they would notice if I snuck them out??

anyway …

First off the make-up artist worked her magic and made me look human. Honestly, I want her to live with me and do that every day – it didn’t look like I was really wearing any and looked like me but WAY better.  LOVED!

The show’s stylist (and forgive me right now but for the life of me the only name of anyone I met that day that I can remember was the lovely PA, Plum) brought me to the bathroom – in the HALLWAY! oh, the glamour of television –  to do measurements (!!!!) and give me my outfit for the shoot – the afore mentioned bandeau top and boy-shorts.  Not as terrible as I thought and I have found my new favourite undies –  Jockey bamboo boy-shorts! Honestly, so comfy and soft and THEY DON”T RIDE UP AT ALL!!  Of course I got to keep the pair that I wore that day (duh) and have since gone out and bought myself 6 pair.  They are THAT good.

anyway, carrying on …

Then it came to my turn to be on camera – GAH!  Oh, and have I mentioned that the camera crew were all men??!!  But professionals, I guess, and used to this so whatever … on to the mat I stepped, in front of a full length mirror and answered questions fed to me by the segment director. The questions were pretty mundane:  name, age, occupation, then came WEIGHT!  and MEASUREMENTS!  and then the crux of the matter – what is my fashion/wardrobe dilemma (too much black, too conservative, a little boring) and what did I hope the girls could help me with (to be a bit more fashion forward, adventurous).  I guess this lasted about 10 minutes but it seemed like FOREVER!

When it was over I got back into my own clothes and met with the second director and camera crew for the outside “before” shots.  This consisted mainly of me walking back and forth on the side walk by Victory Park which is right across from the where the studio is.  If you are at all familiar with Vancouver you will know that the people who hang out in Victory Park are mainly addicts and homeless people.

Walking back and forth being followed by a camera crew caused quite a stir!  I tried to act all natural and like I do this all the time but really?  AWKWARD!  AT one point they had me sitting on a bench, texting, looking natural (!!!) – I sent the following text to my sister “they are filming me texting you so when you see this on tv that is what I am doing – HA!”.  People were staring at us and after it was over a few came up to me and were all like “are you an actress?”.

um, no

And so it ended and I survived and it wasn’t terrible. The big “reveal” is being shot next week and I can’t wait to see what they pick!

A few weeks ago I was invited to an evening cocktail party at a friend’s house – promised to be a fun evening.  Of course I offered to bring something and was told that an appetizer would be great.

Last week the hostess sent an email around to all of us who had offered to bring an appetizer so that she could get an idea of what was coming.  My original intention was to being edamame humus with pita chips but by the time the email got to me there were at least 5 other dip-type items on it so I decided to do something different – Chex Party Mix.  So that’s what I wrote.

I mean everyone likes that, right?  And it goes well with cocktails and there would be MEN there and from what I understand men aren’t generally all that excited about dips.  Anyway, I didn’t give it another thought.

Until Saturday afternoon.

I called a girlfriend of mine (actually the friend through whom I know the hostess) who was also going to coordinate rides, etc.  We were chatting about this and that and then she asked me – were you serious about the Chex Party Mix?  Of course, I answered, why?

Apparently some of the women WHO I DON”T EVEN KNOW! saw it listed on the email and got their knickers in a serious knot.  WHO is this person? they demanded.  What kind of person brings a bag of bits & bites to an adult cocktail party??!!  seriously, apparently there was an entire day of emails like that – totally trash-talking this insolent gatecrasher and her audacity in thinking that this was acceptable party fare.

OH. MY. GOD!!!!  These women are all in their mid to late 40’s and early 50’s. Professionals for the most part.  But way bitchy and petty apparently.

I assured my friend that I was in no way bringing a vacu-sealed bag of bits and bites to the party – I was in fact in the middle of making home-made Chex Party Mix – with pecans and almonds and three types of organic cereals and Chinese noodles.  This was not your 1970’s housewife party mix.

and don’t think I wasn’t tempted to go to the corner store and buy a bag and bring it with a 6-pack of no-name pop.

But I didn’t.  Because I am better than that.

The party was fun.  My Chex Mix a huge hit – it was the ONLY dish from the table that made its way to the kitchen and was surrounded by all the men.

And I found out who started the mean emails and it was none other than that bitch who last year stuck me with $150 of a group bill AFTER going on and on and on about how much money she and her husband make.  And of course she pretended not to have ever met me before.

Karma’s a bitch, babe, that’s what I have to say to you.

You know those “reality” shows where the person goes on, unhappy with themselves or their house or their wardrobe or whatever?  like TLC’s “What Not to Wear” or Britain’s Trinny & Suzanna??  Well Canada’s W Network is launching their own version, hosted by Anna & Kristina of  Shopping Bag and Grocery Bag fame called Beauty Call, and I applied.

And got on.

The first shoot is this coming Tuesday – and I have to appear on camera wearing a black bandeau top and black boy-shorts.

Half naked.

ON CAMERA.

For NATIONAL TELEVISION.

I guess it’s too late to start with the sit-ups … I wonder if I could request a full bar on my ryder???

UPDATE:  I did it today and it was scary but not terrible!  The (ALL MALE!!) camera crew were great and the production team really made me feel comfortable.  I said that this year I was going to do stuff that scared me and took me out of my comfort zone.  This totally qualifies!!  Can’t wait to see what they pick out for me!!  stay tunes …

and I’m not talking baked goods here – though cupcakes ARE delicious …

what I am referring to is the not so new but kinda new to my world trend of men leaving their fabulous and age-appropriate wives for much younger, and decidedly LESS fabulous, girls, hereinafter referred to as “cupcakes”

I spent a good deal of time this past summer at my parent’s home in Knowlton, Quebec – a lovely town about an hour south-west of Montreal world renowned for their Brome Lake Duck and home to more than one retired Canadian politician of note

It is a small-ish town in the way that everyone pretty much knows everyone or at the very least a little about everyone and it is very difficult to conduct any part of life “in secret”, let alone affairs.

enter the cupcakes

on 2 separate occasions I met 2 fabulous women in thier late 40’s/early 50’s – gorgeous, fit, intelligent, great mums, interesting, etc – all around FABULOUS

on both occasions I learned that their respective husbands had “traded them in” for new models – YOUNGER models – much less fabulous, not nearly as gorgeous, together, intelligent, interesting, etc – in fact the only thing I could see that these young things, these cupcakes, had going for them was their age – BOTH under 25

both men are in their mid-50’s

I had occasion to meet and converse with both cupcakes, one prior to meeting her predecessor and the other after – to say that I was underwhelmed would be a massive understatement – these girls had NOTHING to contribute to anything

and I sincerely hope that the men in question have mega-bucks because really? YUCK!!! I suppose if you had been with the man for 25 years already and had a couple of children with him and all that you would find him attractive, but now?  not so much – both are clearly a case of being rich enough to be good looking

and insecure??  holy man were these cupcakes ever insecure! one of them can be found pretty much every day between the hours of 1 and 3 sitting on the deck of the local marina, sipping wine, nibbling at her salad and “working” away on her Luis Vuitton wrapped laptop – being sure that each adn every person was sure to see that it was indeed a LUIS VUITTON warpped laptop.

ridiculous

and she was always alone, sitting at a table for 4, never making eye contact with anyone

sad really, and I would have felt sorry for her except that I had seen the emails she had sent her now-fiance when he was still somebody else’s husband

I know that there is absolutely nothing new or groundbreaking about what I am writing – the same thing has been going on FOREVER and will continue to so ling as men and boys and women are, well cupcakes.

However, it did make me think long and hard about my own, currently single situation – how does one compete with the cupcakes?  Not that I have or would EVER have designs on someone else’s husband, but if men in their 40’s and 50’s are really looking for girls in their 20’s, where does that leave me?

I wish you were with me last night — went for tea with a friend  and the weekly meeting of the bitter divorced guys was going on at the table next to us (I say weekly meeting because I have seen the same group there at least 2 other times)

So funny, not to mention completely delusional — last night’s topic of discussion was dating and they are all convinced that they are God’s gift or some such – unless their wallets are disproportionate to their hairlines, they had better start re-evaluating their options! 

according to them all women over 35 are desperate bitches and not worth their time and the young and nubile 20-somethings are BEGGING FOR IT

seriously, better than television!

that said, if this is my dating pool??  GOD help me!

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