ladies who lunch


On the bus this morning on my way to work a woman standing down the aisle from me caught my eye – tall, blond hair neatly pulled back in a pony, pencil skirt, good boots, funky swing jacket, fun scarf – she looked great, pulled together, good.  “love her style” I thought to myself  “would like to look like that”

and that’s when it hit me – I used to BE that girl – put together, chic, well-groomed, fashionable, confident

30 or so pounds and several life-crisis ago, that is

well crap, it’s time to go back to being THAT girl

I have a closet full of fantastic clothes – great jackets, funky skirts, chic pants, cute tops – but all 2 or 3 sizes too small – this must change

Lately I have taken to wearing my lulu pants or jeans to work with a sweater or hoodie and my Chucks.  On the one hand, SO LUCKY I can dress like that at the office.  On the other, it has allowed me to become lazy and complacent and not make any effort in getting dressed in the morning.  I have become LAZY.  And COMPLACENT.  My mother would most definitely not approve.

I mean who cares, right? No one is going to see me, what does it matter?

Oh, it matters.  Believe me, IT MATTERS! I need to make that effort again, care about what I put on before heading out the door.  Be the girl people look at and say “wow, she looks GREAT!  what style!” I was that girl and will be again. Soon. I figure by the end of April I can get my act together, drop 2 sizes and be right back in my kicky skirts and flirty tops, feeling good about being ME.

Show the world the best version of me and then the sky’s the limit – there will be no stopping what this girl can do!

will keep you posted . . .

*the fact that the episode of Beauty Call that I filmed a few months ago wherein they (and Whitney Port!) called me FAT (I am a size 12 to 14) in at least 18 different ways on national television has NOTHING to do with this!

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A few weeks ago I was invited to an evening cocktail party at a friend’s house – promised to be a fun evening.  Of course I offered to bring something and was told that an appetizer would be great.

Last week the hostess sent an email around to all of us who had offered to bring an appetizer so that she could get an idea of what was coming.  My original intention was to being edamame humus with pita chips but by the time the email got to me there were at least 5 other dip-type items on it so I decided to do something different – Chex Party Mix.  So that’s what I wrote.

I mean everyone likes that, right?  And it goes well with cocktails and there would be MEN there and from what I understand men aren’t generally all that excited about dips.  Anyway, I didn’t give it another thought.

Until Saturday afternoon.

I called a girlfriend of mine (actually the friend through whom I know the hostess) who was also going to coordinate rides, etc.  We were chatting about this and that and then she asked me – were you serious about the Chex Party Mix?  Of course, I answered, why?

Apparently some of the women WHO I DON”T EVEN KNOW! saw it listed on the email and got their knickers in a serious knot.  WHO is this person? they demanded.  What kind of person brings a bag of bits & bites to an adult cocktail party??!!  seriously, apparently there was an entire day of emails like that – totally trash-talking this insolent gatecrasher and her audacity in thinking that this was acceptable party fare.

OH. MY. GOD!!!!  These women are all in their mid to late 40’s and early 50’s. Professionals for the most part.  But way bitchy and petty apparently.

I assured my friend that I was in no way bringing a vacu-sealed bag of bits and bites to the party – I was in fact in the middle of making home-made Chex Party Mix – with pecans and almonds and three types of organic cereals and Chinese noodles.  This was not your 1970’s housewife party mix.

and don’t think I wasn’t tempted to go to the corner store and buy a bag and bring it with a 6-pack of no-name pop.

But I didn’t.  Because I am better than that.

The party was fun.  My Chex Mix a huge hit – it was the ONLY dish from the table that made its way to the kitchen and was surrounded by all the men.

And I found out who started the mean emails and it was none other than that bitch who last year stuck me with $150 of a group bill AFTER going on and on and on about how much money she and her husband make.  And of course she pretended not to have ever met me before.

Karma’s a bitch, babe, that’s what I have to say to you.

and I’m not talking baked goods here – though cupcakes ARE delicious …

what I am referring to is the not so new but kinda new to my world trend of men leaving their fabulous and age-appropriate wives for much younger, and decidedly LESS fabulous, girls, hereinafter referred to as “cupcakes”

I spent a good deal of time this past summer at my parent’s home in Knowlton, Quebec – a lovely town about an hour south-west of Montreal world renowned for their Brome Lake Duck and home to more than one retired Canadian politician of note

It is a small-ish town in the way that everyone pretty much knows everyone or at the very least a little about everyone and it is very difficult to conduct any part of life “in secret”, let alone affairs.

enter the cupcakes

on 2 separate occasions I met 2 fabulous women in thier late 40’s/early 50’s – gorgeous, fit, intelligent, great mums, interesting, etc – all around FABULOUS

on both occasions I learned that their respective husbands had “traded them in” for new models – YOUNGER models – much less fabulous, not nearly as gorgeous, together, intelligent, interesting, etc – in fact the only thing I could see that these young things, these cupcakes, had going for them was their age – BOTH under 25

both men are in their mid-50’s

I had occasion to meet and converse with both cupcakes, one prior to meeting her predecessor and the other after – to say that I was underwhelmed would be a massive understatement – these girls had NOTHING to contribute to anything

and I sincerely hope that the men in question have mega-bucks because really? YUCK!!! I suppose if you had been with the man for 25 years already and had a couple of children with him and all that you would find him attractive, but now?  not so much – both are clearly a case of being rich enough to be good looking

and insecure??  holy man were these cupcakes ever insecure! one of them can be found pretty much every day between the hours of 1 and 3 sitting on the deck of the local marina, sipping wine, nibbling at her salad and “working” away on her Luis Vuitton wrapped laptop – being sure that each adn every person was sure to see that it was indeed a LUIS VUITTON warpped laptop.

ridiculous

and she was always alone, sitting at a table for 4, never making eye contact with anyone

sad really, and I would have felt sorry for her except that I had seen the emails she had sent her now-fiance when he was still somebody else’s husband

I know that there is absolutely nothing new or groundbreaking about what I am writing – the same thing has been going on FOREVER and will continue to so ling as men and boys and women are, well cupcakes.

However, it did make me think long and hard about my own, currently single situation – how does one compete with the cupcakes?  Not that I have or would EVER have designs on someone else’s husband, but if men in their 40’s and 50’s are really looking for girls in their 20’s, where does that leave me?

Some  friends and I were discussing an interesting (to me anyway) development as a result of the growing popularity of re-usable shopping bags – the status symbol-ness of it all.  In a world of $20K Hermes Birkin bags the new “it” bag seems to be the readily available and often FREE re-usable shopping bag – so long, of course, as it comes from the “right” store …

and then there was the near-pandemonium caused by not a plastic bag

myself I have a collection of WholeFoods (at $0.99 to $1.25 per), Lulu Lemon (FREE!!) and other various and sundry retailers like the liquor store, book shops and the like

but would I carry a re-usable bag from Walmart?  likely not

here’s my question:  why have the luxury retailers not jumped on this trend??  Holt Renfrew, for example, still uses their trademark fuchsia PAPER shopping bags in all sizes.  How fabulous would a cloth version of that bag be?  They should really follow Lulu’s example and give them out for free – I mean if I am dropping that kind of dough the least the Westons can do is spot me the cost of a fabric bag. 

So Mr. Weston, now that you are done with promoting your Christmas delicacies for President’s Choice, which store, by the way,  DOES have great re-usable shopping bags, it’s time for your other store to follow suit and start producing what is sure to become the ultimate in ladies-who-lunch-but-are-enviro-conscious-to-a-point-anyway-so-long-as-it-doesn’t-inconvenience-me status symbol