Having finally conquered that nasty cold/flu/pneumonia bastard, my neck decided to go Monday evening (aside:  if I believed in signs I might think that someone was maybe trying to tell me to slow down …) and I have been in a constant state of pain and discomfort since then.  Sleep has been pretty much impossible and I have spent a good deal of time simply crying when the pain got to be too much (in the privacy of my apartment, of course).

Maggie has been fabulous through it all, though I think she will be quite relieved when we actually get a complete night’s sleep – one that doesn’t involve her mother crawling across the floor in agony, searching for those damn blister packs of relief.

Before all of that happened I had a date Saturday night with a very nice man I met over the summer.  We had played tennis a few times and went out once and then life got busy and that was that.  We met up again at a friend’s a couple of weeks ago and he asked me to dinner – hence the date on Saturday night.  We went to a lovely restaurant and had a lovely time, but before the appetisers arrived I knew that he was not who I wanted to be with.

… 

back to the neck issue ….

… 

I had a massage appointment last night – the first of many in my future as it seems I have gone and done it this time and a “quick fix” ain’t gonna cut it.  He (he of the crowded room and much past heartache) offered to collect me and ferry me home safely; an offer which I of course gratefully accepted.  It was a gross night last night, wet and rainy and windy and we were both tired and rushed so after making sure I was home comfortably he left to deal with the banalities of life and I fell sound asleep.

… 

When I woke up I knew I had to tell him – NOT telling him and him NOT telling ME has been our biggest downfall.

… 

So I did.  I picked up the phone and I told him:  “I had a date Saturday night.  With a very lovely man.  But  nice as it was and lovely as he is I would rather be at a hot and stuffy and uncomfortable pool for 4 hours, watching your son miss his events with YOU than having a lovely dinner with someone else.”

… 

There was more to the conversation of course, but that’s what I had wanted to tell him; what I wanted him to know.

And now I have and now he knows and I had an absolutely fabulous sleep last night.

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