Some have expressed surprise that I would accuse or suspect my sister of stealing TP from me. Let me give you some insight …

Bank robbery: many, many years ago we all used to bank at the same bank on Greene Avenue. I opened my first account with the contents of my piggybank when I was about 5 or so. Everyone at the branch new us, paperwork was eschewed and it was not unusual for one of us to do the banking of the other (this was long before the advent of the ATM). However, imagine my surprise when I went one day to make a sizable withdrawal to be told that there were insufficient funds. Apparently my darling sister had taken it upon herself to take a “loan” direct from my account. All banking privileges regarding my account were quickly revoked.

Petty theft: this one ranks among her most embarrassing past transgressions; she “borrowed” the money left out for our cleaning lady. From that day forward neither her laundry nor her room got any attention from the lovely Sarah. She is aware that she will be spending quite a bit of post-living time atoning for this one.

B&E: more than once she has arrived at my office wearing my clothes, having stopped by my house and having forgotten her key (of which she has at last 2 copies), broken in through my bedroom window (which is frighteningly easy) and helped herself to the contents of my closet. And fridge. Though when she does take stuff from the fridge she leaves a note: “took your hummus. yummy”

Petty Theft II: we were at home (my parents’), friends were over, I offered to make the run to the local dep for supplies like cigarettes, chips, etc and took orders. Including hers. I said don’t worry about money, I have some in my wallet, we’ll settle up when I get back. It was winter. In Montreal. And I was walking. Which was fine, because it was a nice snowy night out and I had to walk the dog anyway. That is until I got to Macs, had everything on the counter, rung up and ready to go when I went into my wallet and guess what? IT WAS EMPTY! Guess who emptied it? That’s right, my sister.

All that is in the past (except for the recent clothescapade, but that’s okay). So you can now see why it is not out of the realm of possibility that I might think her capable of pilfering the crack crack.

Advertisements