I know this may come as a shock to you dear readers, but sometimes, just sometimes, I’m not so bright. I am also in a huge state of denial over the fact that summer is drawing to a close and the days are getting shorter and it is, therefore, getting darker earlier. Combine those two factors and you have what happened to me last night.

Got home, traded the suit for my dog-walking duds (I actually wore REAL SHOES to the office for the first time in like 4 months!!!!) and off we set for the woods. I had some stuff to mull over (like an off-handed invitation to surf camp in Mexico this October which will be discussed in another post) so decided to go for the long version of the walk. Mutt Face was thrilled, natch.

Half-way back I noticed that it was far darker than I was comfortable with it being and I hadn’t had the forethought to bring my handy-dandy and very fashionable Petzel (halogen hiking headlamp for the uninitiated). D’oh!!! Oh, well, no choice but to carry on as I had to get out of the woods somehow.

All of a sudden I heard a very loud woosh-woosh coming from somewhere and then it was on me — AN OWL! Attacking my ponytail!!!!!!! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!! I am absolutely terrified of flying things, even, to quote young Art Lad, common-fucking-finches (Thomas did not use “fucking” – my artistic licence). This was my worst nightmare come true. HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT I am going to die right here in the woods at the talons of this owl.

And then, SUPER MAGGIE TO THE RESCUE! She was up ahead of me but heard my pathetic screeching and came charging back, in full bark mode — snarling and snapping and barking like there was no tomorrow. That damn owl took off but quick.

I eventually stopped shaking and leashed Super Maggie so as to keep her by my side in case that pesky bird decided to come back for round 2. She got extra yummy treats and lots and lots of tummy rubs when we got home.

Good to know I can count on her in an emergency …..

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