I am grappling with something that I never thought (or rather HOPED) I would have to and am not impressed with it one bit
what I must now decide is whether or not I can get past it
so, once a cheater always a cheater?
is the fact that I was lied to, directly and indirectly for the better part of 6 months something I can get past? Is it possible to salvage a relationship from this? and by relationship I don’t mean romantic, in case you were about to jump down my throat yet again about this …
I honetly don’t know
and in other news …
I do believe that I have overcome my swim suit phobia – in preparation for my up-coming long weekend in the Okanagan I went swim suit shopping yesterday and faced several demons, mainly related to the fact that the thought of going out in public in a swim suit scares the bejeesus out of me! 1 1/2 hours and about a jajillion suits later I left the store victorious – a choclate brown “skort” and 2 tops, one pale blue and one chocolate brown, both halter style
happy times indeed
September 4, 2007 at 5:40 pm
My suit is chocolate brown too! And I can’t wait to wear it!
And I’m not sure about the “once a cheater, always a cheater” question…i know that I would have a very difficult time trusting someone who cheats again and in the back of my mind I’d always be wondering if they were cheating again…I think it would drive me so crazy that I couldn’t carry on in the relationship..
September 4, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Hey there, am back and in action once again! Sorry to read this and read in between the lines, adding it to what I already know. Am interested in the details but can already say – you deserve better – whether it’s in a lover or a friend. Do yourself a favour and an honour and dump people who are toxic.
And, congratulations on the swimsuit! A huge coup, for sure!
September 4, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Skorts are the best!
I don’t know what to tell you about the cheater thing. I suppose that if you have reason to believe you won’t be lied to again, then there might be reason to continue the relationship. Then again… that trust will be hard to reestablish.
September 5, 2007 at 6:01 am
Dishonesty in any relationship is the worst. Depending on what you want, I think the relationship can continue but, for me, it can never be what it was. It is difficult to rebuild trust once it has been lost.
September 5, 2007 at 8:10 am
upon re-reading this I realized that it is rather misleading – the “cheater” I am referring to is NOT the hair commenter or former “love interest” in my life but, rather,someone I had considered a friend and who had been lying to me about a rather significant situation and who I completely by accident ran into the other day at Wholefoods when I was under the (wrong, apparently) impression that said friend was “out of the country for an indefinite period of time on a new job assignment”
September 5, 2007 at 8:51 am
Hey! Interesting that we all assumed it was a guy! In any event, my advice still stands but – is this something you want to discuss with the person (for resolution/closure) before you walk away?
September 5, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Hi – apparently I’m going to go all quote-stalkery here, but honestly it’s because I’ve been MIA for a few days and am catching up.
I think it is telling that we all assumed it was a guy, but the sad truth is that women friends can be just as bad or worse (been there, done that, buried the evidence).
The wise Tam has it right “you deserve better – whether it’s in a lover or a friend. Do yourself a favour and an honour and dump people who are toxic.”
You’ll be glad you did.
September 5, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Woot! I’ve never been called “wise” before. Thanks, Cin. Just had to comment back with that.
September 5, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Nicely done on the swim suit situation! Woohoo! I am sure you will look fantabulous!
I would ix-nay the friend…I don’t think I would ever be able to trust that person again and quite frankly I would much rather have a drama free life that doesn’t involve liars, cheaters or similiar things.
September 6, 2007 at 7:24 pm
I’m late commenting everywhere, but I still wanted to write something here because I’ve been through something similar. I tried being friends with a guy who cheated on me and it just didn’t work. It was just… I could never feel like he was trustworthy again and if you don’t have that (and I didn’t) it makes any kind of relationship, friend or otherwise- really hard to pull off. If you DO find a way to do it, share the secret okay?
As for the bathing suit, congrats! I love brown and blue together. So pretty!
September 8, 2007 at 7:41 pm
i think definitely that once a liar/deciever/cheater etc … always one.